February 17, 2018

More Zero Waste Valentines

I wasn't fazed when the youngest vomited her dinner on me Sunday evening, launching a night-long puke fest.

Didn't flinch when the oldest one followed suit, two days later.

But when I realized tomorrow was Valentine's Day...then I began to panic.

This is Valentine's Day for the Zero Waste parent.  We can't condone this commercial holiday that is flagrantly wasteful.  Yet...I remember how fun it was to have a break from "real" school to exchange valentines.

So, that afternoon, my girls had two choices:  forgo the holiday, or watch mommy scramble to help them make Zero Waste valentines.

Oldest kid decided to opt out.

Youngest kid totally wanted to get in on some sanctioned scissor use.

Since I was caught off guard this year, we didn't make true Junk Mail Valentines, nor did I feel like rifling through the recycle bin like we did last year to make valentines.  So we grabbed a school flyer, a piece of construction paper we miraculously had on hand and a couple of cookie cutters (one of which may or may not have started life as an IKEA toy) and jumped in.

Oldest happily helping youngest ma--wait, what?!

Then, pumped over home crafts, the oldest one then decided to make 22 tiny snowflake valentines for her classmates.

Oldest's "snowflake valentines"...or...
a fleet of tiny, white Death Cruiser.

For three years now we've survived Valentine's Day by simply transforming paper products into cute little crafts--we haven't contributed much waste (except for the glue sticks which we will eventually throw away) and I managed to get in some quality mom-kid time.

But obviously, I haven't yet convinced my five- and eight-year-olds to forsake this made-up holiday.  I hope to, someday, or at least get them to think objectively about it before the threat of genuine emotional invalidation over this bunk has the potential to affect my girls.

But for now, I'm happy they don't blink when I tell them, "We're gonna keep this one Zero Waste, okay?"


  1. Did you tell them what happened to St. Valentine? Maybe then they won't want to hand out hearts? ;)

    1. I HEART ANTIESTABLISHMENTARIANISM as much as the next curmudgeon, but I'm trying to let the girls have some semblance of a childhood until I can't take it anymore. And I tell you, Valentine's Days gets me closer and closer to that point every year.